Madness 

Lip Lock.

I like kissing.
Maybe I didn’t really get my thought across.
I Really like kissing.
There. That’s better.
Oh, sure, I like other stuff.
Fucking. Sucking. In. Out. All Around.
Loving. Lusting. Licking. Longing.
Soft. Hard. Quick. Slow.
For Me. For Her.
And I Really like all that, too.
I guess I could go on about various wants, needs, preferences, fantasies, desires, experiences, fetishes, uncertainties and taboos.
And in a real, loving and special relationship, there are all the thoughts, closeness, non-sexual but still so important touches and caresses and hugs. The staring. The silence and the moments.
But what is burning a thought like a drill into my brain is kissing.
Simple.
But it can be so deep, so passionate. So right.
And the reverse is that without said kiss, everything else can sometimes be so wrong.
Now I am not some needful fool. But I am man enough to admit what I seek. If that makes me tender, so be it.
I just want more kisses.
A hot tight body. All mine to play with. Plenty to explore and enjoy. Near expert touch and enthusiastic willingness to please. You’d think a guy would be happy, right?
And mostly I am. 99.9999999999999999% or more.
But I just want more kissing, and it’s driving me fucking nuts!
Some people just don’t like to kiss as much as others. No long, romantic make out sessions.
Great sex, sure. Wonderful sex. Good old Sweaty /Smiling/Sticky sex.
Hell. I guess I am just unthankful.
But be that as it may, I now have a goal.
When I was a little kid, it was to kiss a chick.
Later, touch the parts you can see, then the ones you couldn’t.
Then, In! In! In!
Add a bunch of faces and places.
And here I am again! All about the Kissing.
Go Figure.

Need to get a Grip! 

Light in the Night

Feeling instead of seeing.
Being instead of wanting.
Having instead of needing.
Eyes full of sand.
The body one big grasping thing.
Edges once sharp no longer seek to draw blood.
Now they dig soul meat.
Big fleshy chunks slapping to the floor, smearing the guts and slime.
The ooze of a whole person.
Gasps rise to the ceiling, running away.
History harder to create.
Imperfections worthy of a second glance.
Or is it chance?
Is luck still out there, floating and sliding?
Or is it all used up like a live sex show performer?
Just let go.
Give in.
Rest.
Fall.
And enjoy?
Use, fully.
One moment and the next not agreeing.
Pick a truth.
They are all shiny today.

For Evie

As I sit here, I am close to beauty.
The moment is calm. Normal. Unremarkable.
But the illusion hides the truth.
Behind the façade of tranquility is the lust.
The Hot Little Thing is fighting the undead.
No, really (well, not ‘really’, but it is true).
And I watch. I wait, it seems.
Why do I wait?
Why not just take it now?
I want to. Man. Do I want to!
Or if I have to wait, why not find another to sate my lust?
I guess it is because that is the Choice I am making.
And life is all about the freedoms and responsibility of choice.
We can choose almost any path in life, but then we have to take the bad with the good resulting from our decisions.
Like now.
Even though I am made to feel less, feel lost, I wait.
Maybe one day I will cease to wait, allowing things to go the way they have.
But maybe not.
For, even with the bullshit, the minor stresses and the major frustrations, it is still what I want.
What I need.
And what I love.
But I would still really rather be sliding and thrusting then typing this, I tell you!
Soon.
Soon….

"Is that a Phaser in your Pocket..." 

Slick Whiskey

Bounce. Jump. Giddy Up!
I went out dancing last night.
I am a pretty horrible dancer, and I know this, but I still can’t fight the fun of dancing, so it always seem to end up that I am sweaty and bogging, knowing I might be drawing a smile or a snicker, but unable to stop.
Life.
If that is my Big Worry, than I have it very easy compared to most.
I like to think what life is like for other people.
One buddy, good guy, has the whole meal deal on the go.
A long-term relationship, a sweet little baby, a house.
The whole thing.
Just needs a dog, I guess.
And to tell you the truth, I see nothing wrong with that.
I used to think I would never slow down.
Party party party!
But that is getting boring.
Sometimes.
It is still fun to go out and do stuff, but the feeling of having done it all before always flutters at the edges of the night.
Maybe the next step is to find the fun in my own life.
Interesting.
Of course, there are others who are still on the path of Chaos and some of those are lost souls.
Some seem to have found a groove that will allow them to ride the wildness all the way to the grave.
Interesting again.
Hell. I guess all I need is some good loving, some good friends, and some good thoughts.
Better start looking!
Romance and tenderness.
Sexual hunger and needs.
Relaxation and productivity.
Now and then.
All or nothing.
May I be worthy.

Behind the Blinds 

4 Wheel Drive Lov'en

Every catch that bit of movement out of the corner of your eye?
It looks familiar.
It looks interesting.
You turn quickly to see and there isn’t anything there.
More than just your eyesight can experiences this sensation.
But, hey, its spring like weather today!
Time for the Jeep and me to go and have some fun.
Vrooooom!
Yes. I wrote ‘Vroom’.
That is the sound of my vehicle.
Vroom.
Sometimes it is Vrooooooooooooom and sometimes just a vrm.
Like most people I like to feel smart.
I like to know what I am talking about.
I don’t always, but it is a nice experience.
I need some Fun Fun Fun time.
Yup.
Too much coffee.
All messed up.
No sense.
Breaking.
Down.
Ok!

Groove with the Big Guy 

Night Breeze

I was thinking hard last night as I dreamt. The scenes were vivid and somewhat troubling, yet it was an enjoyable experience because of the realness mixed with the strangeness.
When I was awoken by a phone call, I was wet with cold sweat and sluggish to realize that the dream had passed.
So many things can keep you awake if you let them. But not as many thoughts can really keep you asleep.
Dirt encrusted sheared sheep sickly bounding an electric fence, every third or fourth getting a jolt and now and then one getting caught up, baying as it sizzles and blisters.
Some of the worse information is still enjoyed if you can feel the honesty in it.
And to ponder the destruction of fake obstacles might seem a wasted exercise, but it spans the void between doubt and fear.
So much for silent freedom and spatial elegance.
In the end, we all just dance for a bit, swinging our arms, and then sort of fumble away.

Perfection. 

Life Rocks!

Even if I knew how I couldn’t make things better.
Or rather, I wouldn’t.
Shouldn’t?
Shit.
I don’t know.
Sure, there is a flip side of hellish self-induced mind fucked crap.
But I can take that.
I can deal with that.
As long as the good still flows.
And it is fucking sweet.
Let me tell you!
Well…
Ok.
I am not really going to tell anything, I guess.
But suffice to say that It All Rocks.
And that ain’t no bit of fluff….

Every Artist needs a Canvas. 

Brain Farts

Quiet planets make beautiful little parks for the gods to stroll and wander.
Little god-lings bouncing around, giggling and drooling.
Young god couples feeling each other up behind the bushes.
Junkie gods leaving spent needles.
God whores dropping soiled rubbers
And god pets leaving little droppings in the warm young grass.
Do you think those freaking gods would stoop and scoop?
Not bloody likely, eh?
(and now for something completely different)
Spanking and squeaking.
Shades of pink flash in the eye.
And the Blues shine through.
Smiles can lie but so can tears.
Beg me to stop.
Go on.
Try.

Fuck! 

You'll Never See It Coming

Fun. Beneath it all. Flowing.
Battered and broken. Thoughts awoken to the newness.
Nerves bent full on.
Like a smooth beat. It has its own destiny.
Pictures capturing a moment, clicking away fast in your mind.
Can’t shake the feeling that I might be screaming.
As I sit here. As I type.
That right now I am in a terror and just not able to discern it.
Paranoid? Maybe just correct?
But how good is a fear if you don’t notice its bite?
I guess you could go a bit nuts-
(twitch---twitch)
-if you thought about stuff like this long enough.
Basically there are two choices.
Go for it all or make sure you get what you need.
Harder to decide than it sounds.
Still, if this is the other side of the looking glass, the ambience is ok.
A little drab, but the flesh sure helps.

"I'm Gonna Get Drunk..." 

Couldn't Care Less

The sweet moves of skin. Satin misses it. Silk enjoys its touch.
Hard thoughts drift away, grasping for a hold on a façade of slick passion.
Self worth and self-defiance fail to present a dedicated argument and no amount of pride can muster a unified front against the simple, obvious and true need of lust.
Flesh. Lips. Hands.
In In In.
Sliding. Kisses. Tongue.
Now.
Go on. Try to get angry. Sure.
Know you are leaving. Sure.
It is soooo over. Sure it is.
Tell yourself another story.
Then she smiles.
You hate her for it.
But you want.
To want is to feel.
To feel is rare.
That which is rare that is valuable.
So valuable.
Fuck ‘em if they can’t take a joke.
Just be looking for and ducking that punch line.
It is cool to be happy, but better to have to earn, fight and take that happiness.
Nothing is better than trying.
Nothing is better than touch.

The Man.  

Visions Fade

What’s to tell? You want. You care. You actually give a shit. But the emptiness is there. Always waiting. So fucking smug and sure of itself. Like it already knows how things are going to go. To End.
I really want to believe. To love and feel all the time. It is difficult. But I guess that is real life. It can’t be roses and nipples al the time, right? But why not?
Maybe I am just tired. Maybe I need more that I am capable of seeing. It is just that when it is good it is so fucking good that when it is just all right it actually feels like shit. From so high, one can fall hard.
Is it enough to care and be excited? What about interaction? What about mental stimulation, common courtesy, politeness, attentiveness? What about being alive together?
It isn’t just movies, dinners and lust. It can’t be. Can it? Am I stupid? Am I greedy? Do I even know what the fuck I am rambling about?
The truth is that, No, I do not. But I am striving to find out.
I will not meekly trail off. I want to see if I can bring about that special feeling. Again. All the time. Now.
The bottom line is that I am challenged to feel anything often. And even though my days and nights have strong highs and lows emotionally, I feel, and that might be just enough to see me through.
Hey. Fuck it. I was never big on the whole worrying thing.
And what a little frustration other than fuel for passion?

A Moment.  

Just Roll. Do the Math Later.

Euphoric.
Utterly happy.
Getting the divine joke.
Feeling the buzz of anticipation.
Nice bullets.
Pretty knives.
Cute razor.
Bright blood.
Gleaming teeth.
Strips of damp leather, dripping the warmth.
Hers. Mine.
Slight bruising.
Play play play!
Summer in the eyes of the dreamer.
Heaven in the folds.
Opium in the kiss.
Fingernails with flesh underneath.
The lack of presence felt nightly.
The space seeming so far.
So long.
Was it real?
Can memories be trusted?
Some have it rough.
Other too soft.
And we all look away.
Let Your Eyes Burn.
You will see the beauty.
Time to sleep and search.
To wait and roll.
Fuck, I feel good.