Time to Die 

Sincere Confusion

So there I was, french-kissing a zombie, which is both more troubling and more sexy than it sounds, when I come to realize that it isn’t me that my hand loves to love, but some cat crazy hottie that makes it meow.
I had to really wonder, after all was said and done, who IS a Zeke? Trying not to loose sleep as I waste to day away, I find out that a quick fix to an unimportant problem is all in the repetition.
If, after having been exposed to someone's presence, you feel as if you've
lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. You need it like you need
pernicious anemia.
Sounds like good advice, Bill.
I nay say and I doubt, but when you heart is pulled it is difficult to hold on to petty bullshit, no matter how much that action is ingrained in your emotional make up.
I heard a funny, that a piece of my past is more that before. A cheap shot maybe, but nonetheless a sensation of pleasure curdled through my being.
I find certain things varied in their importance and their ability to give my life a positive shine. Varied moment by moment. It would almost be better if it just sucked all the time. Then you wouldn’t wade through the crap to find that nugget of heaven.
Hey, Baby, its all good….
What you see usually is what you get. Most of life is obvious and honest in its presentation. It is our hopes and wants which lie to us, making something seem to be what it isn’t.
Our lies make others untrue.
But our interest can make them god-like.
The Fool laughs when others cry.

Grrrrrrowl! 

Big Room.

Dreams of lustful situations free your mind to release your conscience.
Sipping a whiskey in a darkened bar, you might like the look of a slender approaching little piece of fun, but you can’t always give in to your tastes. You don’t always even want to.
Disturbing the cycle of heat and wanting.
Letting you need in the open.
Making you hunger in your own vision.
Never fake the moment, because you might not get the chance to see it again. And once you know what you like, see if you can like it more.
Our beasts are the refuge of our power. The final force that will win the battle or be ripped apart in the attempt. Yearning is such honest effort, but few do it with honest zeal. Afraid to admit they are alone or that they seek? Imperfect? What? No not someone in this world!
Go on with ‘ya!
We are all just pieces of something more, broken and scattered.
And imagine trying to put it all together when you are down among the puzzle pieces. Start with the edges.
I admit I need. I lust. I want. So mush sometimes.
Other times, it is like there is only gray ice and fog in my world.
Still, it is nice fog and really smooth ice.
But I know I seek.
And in doing so I am able to feed my needs.
Yummy Yummy.

In The Dark 

Big Smile

Like the sunshine in the morning.
Or the sounds of strange music drifting through he night.
Like a wild wooded field hidden in a city.
Unexpected and unready for.
But needed and wanted more than before thought possible.
Sometimes you never even know you are lacking something in your life until it is there. That can mess you up. Makes you think.
What else am I crying out for with muted voice?
Are my hands reaching for something so dear while I fail to notice?
Sometimes we think there is a timeline that should be followed.
But the reality is that whatever speed life moves at is the pace we should set.
Do not fight the current. Enjoy the drift.
And smile at the unexpected goodies.
Oh! And never turn down a chance to take a bubble bath in a Jacuzzi!
Growwwwwwlllll!

Tell me the Story 

Touched Lips

The night sets its jaw.
Outside feel the press of desires and fears.
Wanting and not wanting.
The odds and the evens.
Have’s and have to’s.
Many more than there were before.
The same music flowing. Secrets being whispered.
Too easy to experience now what used to never even be know.
There is a flip side. Always is.
Break in the warranty.
Tear at the edge of the smirk.
The real world.
Isn’t really as real as it was thought to be.
From a spartan way of living, or rather not maybe, to this cold water on the nuts way of sudden awakening.
Now wondering if awoken from one haze into another.
The question is if it is better this way or the other?
Maybe I need to relax, let my brain uncoil.
Screw it.
If I am happy, why bother with questions of real or unreal, right?
I know why.
Moments forgetting their start.

Hello, Victim (aka "Next") 

Sneaky Little Fucker

Our actions produce results. And the scales never really balance.
I have always been aware of the malleable quality of the world.
Of lives, thoughts, feelings and hopes.
But it is still surprising when something once thought a positive becomes a negative.
When the Good goes Bad. And never mind the Ugly.
It is like standing on shifting shards of glass. Edgy. Slick.
And the blood just under the skin, straining to wash around your feet.
Wash away.
Wash clean.
Wash the sins and the dread and the wishes of an old life.
Out to sea. Out to dreams. Just away.
There is beauty. And there is feeling.
But so disturbing is this possibility of unforeseen alteration of allegiance that even the most heart strong interaction can be tainted with hesitance.
If you let it be so!
The trick is to know. To let the dull fade and the rotten fall.
Embrace fully. There might be some doubt, but never act out of fear.
Daringness and faith, combined with ability and honesty.
Like Mr. Gaunt said, ‘Trust those you trust’.
And besides, life has been very good lately.
A little rain never hurt anyone.

Masks we Hide Show the Most 

Life is Getting Hard

It is a Saturday morning, and I feel great.
The sun is out. The wind is crisp.
And I have the whole day before me with anything I want within reach.
The possibilities are seemingly endless.
Then I bump into this: http://hotlittlething.blogspot.com/
Now I am all messed up. All consumed with need and lust.
A walk in the fresh air down by the ocean? Sounded great about fifteen minutes ago. Now?
Fuck That!
All I can think about is thighs and sighs and Hubba Hubba Hubba!
The little bits of work I was going to be so proactive about and get ahead on?
Screwed (humm…a pun!).
Man. Life is tough, eh?
Oh well. Hey, we each have our burdens. Our monkeys. Our fixes.
Time to Boogie.

Memories?
 

Slip it In

Very quiet sneaky hopes begin to move in.
Dreams and even worries suddenly have a moment in your day.
You used to know the levels of shit you would take. Now that scale can fluctuate.
Things change when you are more. When you are less, things just go away.
To have a goal you must open yourself up to defeat. There is a great selling point.
The olds days of happy indifference meet all those old days of teddy bears, warm cribs and never having to do your taxes.
For your troubles you gain freedom. You gain choice.
But you still have to choose freedom. Every fucking day. As hard as you can.
Deep down, full body, brain to soul freedom.
Choose it. Side with it. Keep the embers hot.
Or you will be owned.
Not in the good way.
Not in the fun, late Saturday night, hands around throat as you lust and sweat way.
No such luck.
You’ll wake up in the dark trying to figure out how you came to where you are.
Nothing wrong with being more.
Nothing wrong with adding to your life.
Just make sure the starting point doesn’t get lost in the dash.

Life is Just Too Good for Words 

Sheets and Thoughts

The night slips between the ideas of real and dream.
And in that hazy shadow of the will, I see you.
Dancing and swaying.
Your eyes are closed, but I know you see me.
Your lips barely move, yet I can feel your kiss.
And you are only an echo of your real beauty,
But I feel my whole body need.
I am all you want me to be.
And we will smile long after the night has come and gone.

Too Cool for School 

Things on Your Skin

We are tested everyday. Strengths and weaknesses judged.
Cool under fire. Right as rain. You can still rock the wrong way and earn some negative karma, and you had better be careful of that.
Good times don’t have to cost you and the bad ones are usually not free anyways.
Hey, like the man says, You Can’t Hide My Knives.
Lots of stuff all mixed up.
Can’t you feel then crawling around on you? Icky!
Get up under it and give it what you have. Don’t fret and don’t hold back.
That is a lack of decisive ability to interact with and control your little corner of reality.
All I really know is that beautiful eyes always look best in the sun or in the dark.
A touch in the present can smooth scars of the past.
And all the rest is just hope.
In madness. In the masses. In the meanings.
Nothing which eternal lies, stranger eons death may die.
Catchy….

Luxury 

Killing Me

A brutal stab to the chest, piercing flesh, parting bone.
Seeking a heart to spill blood.
Fierce instinctual urges to survive and go on are met with the languid quality of surrender.
Moving, gritting teeth, while I empty.
Lying down to accept the nothingness.
Full of the End.
And the killing continues.
If the time was another, then I could see.
But in the present state it is fuzzy.
There are a lot of hearts perforated by intensity.
The bad is really so good.
How do you walk around and still believe?
How do you see and still care?
I’d say it is a matter of opinion.
We all have our double cross to bear.
Let’s just make sure the goals are our own.
Nothing worse than slaving for another’s fix.
Nothing better than being it yourself.
Nothing wrong with a good little Kill.