Xi!

This is a bright new little bit of happiness.
One I walked away from almost
There was no way that I deserved
To be able to embrace it again
Yet that is what has happened.
Lovely times

Real life just gets in the way for a bit now and then I guess.

Happy Shit

Yeah
It cuts
Yeah
It fucking sucks
Yeah
I deserve every little bit of discomfort
It brings me nothing but unhappiness
To imagine the happiness
That I ain't making
And it could easily make one feel forgotten
Except to remember that you are not
Memories are mine
I will maybe remember
Or maybe store all away
For never.
Or ever.
But I am sure that I am happy
To have had the little bit of eye to eye
Finally
Truth is all that is needed
People think they want specific things
They don't
They want and need and will endure with Truth
The rest is just bits of loud and passionate testimony
Ready to leak away with the cold slow rain.

Know Self

Pining with a nod to the reality of the situation
Drifting in the wishful bits improbable treasures
Lustful luxuries so far away from likely
Doesn't change the smile brought on
by the Dreaming.

Changes

I cannot even start to categorize, organize, or explain it.
Any of it.
And man, it would be a fraking great story


If I had the words
If I knew the tunes
But I don't


And won't
Until it is all over, and clear as the winter sky, once done
As it always is


And always was.
Until then I will turn and burn and wishfully rock and roll.
Breaking and catching


Crunching on the bits
Choking on the bones
Riding the throws


Feeling without a filter
Only after not feeling a thing
Sorry.


Lust, love, truth, happiness.
They all flow together
A tainted mix of pure want and knowing.

Zark En Drem

 
Looking from the outside in
Things look pretty good
Not so pretty grim
 
It's not my intention to make you uncomfortable
I rarely know until too late
Please enjoy the show
 
Faking the blood
Drizzling some on the edges
Just enough to catch the eye
 
Little gods and little kings
Might not rise very high
The fuckers still fall deep
 
Turned up knots of want
Tied so tight by the repeated wish
To rewind and redo
 
Scrape off your bones for the mighty
Flakes drift off into the night
Your voices cracking in the cold
 
Everything. Everyone.
Anything. All is one.
From start to end, with so much fun.

There goes yet another second.

 
I can feel it start
I know it is there
Scratching sort of
More asleep or waiting
I said before that the Beast in me isn't clawing
Or hammering, banging, smashing
Raging against the bars that lock him
Away
No.  That sly fellow waits, just staring.
A smirk in his eyes.
The gated door isn't even locked maybe
This can lead me to wonder if
Is it me that is in
The Cage.
 
Another quick thought
And this one is brought by another
Mind
that told me all the flying cutting nails
of old wisdom and future knowing.
 
"I am the Fuck You of your past shed tears
From shame and unworthiness of love."
"I am the Fuck You of your now, knowing
You are a little turd of a lie"
"I am the Fuck you of your future, where you will be
A forgotten Joke"
 
Smashing.

Ugly Inside

Dirty teethed little grub-rots sneak around behind the corners
Frickling and frockling towards some sneaky end
Twisted bumpy bits are searching for a place
That will give way to their intrusion and allow them in
Then the gooey and frothy little stink breathe dance
Between the ugly wants and the forsaken taken
It is a sight to see, I tell you
If ever you dared the eyes to bend to that gash
The view, forever telled and seen
There they roll and fever and spray
Choking with hurry as panic near they grope
Their eyes aren't for seeing and their tongues don't speak wordy
But what they're using they're using for the use intended
With every little twitchy muscle they be reaching
For that moment that makes them feel real and sure
Slight in its time, but crazy making in its high
Just like you

Just like I