Smiles and Dice and Back.

There is a passion that hides in the simple, common madness of the world.
I wandered. I sought. Laden with thoughts and new ideas. Brought low almost by required amendment. Though it has only been time measured in days and weeks, I feel changed by decades. Changing still.
These moments also felt afflicted with the destruction of the familiar. Shields of the past broken. Serene bastions in opposition to the loss of heart have distorted.
You can never go back. You can never go home.
Not all was wrong. And very little was bad. Fairly, all that was issued with disturbing currents of sadness or frustration are part my own action.
There are some sweet centers. From these has come the assurance. From old friends and close family. From letting go of that which was petty.
There are things that have happened, are happening, and will happen.
So, I have wandered. I have returned. Changed and seeking a compass to gauge the nights and the mornings. To find a new way to smile. Or maybe just to again smile in a simpler way of the past.
That is a nice thought.
Last night, I thought as I fell asleep. Beautiful thoughts. Pleasure just by feeling my brain work. True words floated and rolled. And they had a story. A picture. I almost jumped up to record them, as I knew I would forget them in total. I was right. They are gone from my manipulations. Even though I wish I had them to share, I wouldn’t change my seeming lethargy.
These thoughts needed to flow. And if they are gone from my minds eye and from these letters, they are in me still.
I also did dream of sharks last night. A powerfully fantastical and potentially horrific dream. But what a dream! Big and fierce. As dreams should be. Larger than our days awake but in that daze of the world and its small actions. Showing that our quiet alone whispers of nights, of our truths, and of our fates, are larger still.
Now it is back to the tasks as needed. And also to keep my thoughts flowing. To not let them clog as they have almost done. Happy New Times.
Hee hee.

“Come now, let's be off. There's a battle in the offing! We've got kingdoms to save and women to love!” - Talon